While decorating our Christmas tree one year, among the box of ‘special’ ornaments I spied one given to me by a dear friend. Sadly this relationship had turned from something sweet to spoiled. Towards the end it was so bad that my husband said to me, “You’re lucky I’m not an abusive husband because you sure keep going back for more pain with her”. I was surprised by his comment thinking that I was showing ‘loyalty’ by putting up with this clearly one sided relationship.
I finally faced the fact that I was being used. This person was an energetic vampire, sucking the life out of me. I was only there to serve at her beck and call, receiving nothing in return. I could not figure out how to limit this relationship so in the end I simply withdrew and cut off all contact.
The truth is, sometimes we have to get rid of what we don’t want in our lives in order to make room for the things we do want.
So…when I found up the ornament she had given me, my stomach literally turned over. I’ve attached pictures so you can fully comprehend what I saw. The ornament was of a bear held up by puppet strings. How ironic that she gave me an ornament that so metaphorically represented our relationship.
Knowing I did not want this ornament on my tree anymore, I set it aside and decorated the rest of the tree. Five days later the ornament was still sitting on my counter but for some reason I was unable to simply throw it away. I had tried to give the ornament away a couple of times but no one else seemed to want it. (Even that is another metaphor!)
Finally, my wise 15 year old daughter said to me, “Mom, why don’t you cut the strings?” What a brilliant solution! Clearly my subconscious mind was still holding me bound to this person. By witnessing a severing of the ties of this unhealthy relationship, I would also be able to energetically and emotionally sever our negative connection.
With my daughter’s help – we photographed the cutting of the strings on the puppet ornament. As I cut the strings I acknowledged that this relationship had once served a purpose but it was time to completely let it go. I wish her love and peace but her happiness is not my responsibility.
Now while you may not have the physical representation of a puppet in your hand, we all have toxic relationships that either need severing or limiting. Trust your body’s response to people as a clue whether they build or break you. Once you identify a negative relationship you are ready to sever, imagine or visualize the link between the two of you. Watch yourself cutting this connection and setting yourself free.
If cutting seems to severe then create a gentler picture. One client I worked with simply untied the rope to let her friend’s “boat” float away from her “dock”.
Another client needed to sever the connection between she and her ex-husband. When she tried to cut the cable she found it was electrically charged so she had to imagine herself finding the power box to turn off the power so she wouldn’t be shocked or hurt in the process.
Remember, your subconscious mind doesn’t understand words, only pictures. So just pretend you can see the connection and ask your mind for a solution to break the bond of any relationship that is no longer healthy or helping you on your journey.
Some people come into our lives for a reason or just a season. Allow that you may have learned all you need to learn from that person. Allow there are lesson they are prevented from learning with you enabling them. Allow that if you don’t value yourself, who will?
It’s time to cut the strings that have kept you bound.
Now go do it!